my 2022 in film
Hello! Howdy! It sure has been another year.
Most of this is being written on Christmas Eve, while I watch Nancy Meyer’s The Holiday. Appropriate, because — if nothing else — The Holiday is a film about the fundamental importance of doing something dumb and silly for yourself (and maybe someone else). Kind of like Nancy Meyers when she wrote and directed the dumb and silly and totally-for-herself 2006 film The Holiday. Kind of like me writing this dumb and silly and totally-for-myself wrap-up each year.
Things happened this year; these may have an impact on the films I liked and responded to. Who can say? I moved to Melbourne. It was stressful, then less stressful, then once I settled even good. I started working in a book store. It’s nice. I had a short story get published in The Suburban Review a couple of weeks ago. I think it’s good and you should read it (after you read this, of course). I’ve been working on a novel for months, but am profoundly sick of my characters, and so am working on a different one for a bit. We’ll see how those go.
And, of course, I watched a lot of movies, which we shall discuss in short order.
As always, this is broken up into the following sections:
- non-2022 films (2021 catch-ups and older fair)
- 2022 releases (all except…)
- my top ten of 2022 (exactly what it says on the tin)
Encanto
Kidz Bop 100 Years of Solitude. “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” is a great though. Best song Lin-Manuel Miranda has written.
Spider-Man: No Way Home
Baby food. Hated this. Not even an awesome Talking Heads needle drop (‘I Zimbra’!!) could save this for me. Kevin Feige is an auteur the same way suburbia is an architectural movement. Like, yes, but…
The Lost Daughter
When I first watched this I liked but didn’t love it. Found myself thinking about it a few times a week for several months, so I rewatched it and, yeah, it’s a masterpiece. Had I seen it in 2021 it easily would’ve been in my top five films of the year, maybe even number one.
Don’t Look Up
A masterclass in bad acting from everyone except Jennifer Lawrence, but she has ugly bangs so even that comes with an asterisk.
Dear Evan Hansen
Abominable.
This year, instead of talking about all the older films I watched in the “title/joke” format I’ve just put them in a ranked list, if for no other reason than it takes a lot of effort to think of original things to say about films that have been out for many years, and I don’t get paid to write this. (Would anyone subscribe if I made a substack?)
This ranking is just my opinion. No, I will not explain my criteria:
82. Sex and the City 2 (2010)
81. Gotti (2018)
80. Monster High: Boo York, Boo York (2015)
79. The Portrait of a Lady (1996)
78. Jackass: The Movie (2002)
77. Puss in Boots (2011)
76. Underworld Evolution (2006)
75. Egomania: Island Without Hope (1986)
74. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009)
73. Underworld (2003)
72. Octopussy (1983)
71. For Your Eyes Only (1981)
70. Mental (2012)
69. St Trinian’s (2007)
68. The Housemaid (1960)
67. An Angel at My Table (1990)
66. In the Tall Grass (2019)
65. Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum (2018)
64. Fitzcarraldo (1982)
63. Oliver & Company (1988)
62. Lady and the Tramp (1955)
61. Cinderella (1950)
60. Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams (2002)
59. Magnificent Obsession (1954)
58. Star 80 (1983)
57. Bring it On (2000)
56. Ghostbusters (1984)
55. Ash is Purset White (2018)
54. City Lights (1931)
53. Sweetie (1989)
52. Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
51. James and the Giant Peach (1996)
50. There Will Be Blood (2007)
49. Living Daylights (1987)
48. License to Kill (1989)
47. The Last Metro (1980)
46. Miami Vice (2006)
45. The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
44. Has Anybody Seen My Gal? (1952)
43. The Godfather (1972)
42. The Pervert’s Guide to Ideology (2012)
41. The Bone Collector (1999)
40. The Emperor’s Naked Army Marches On (1987)
39. A View to a Kill (1985)
38. I Am Love (2009)
37. Grizzly Man (2005)
36. Holy Smoke! (1999)
35. Lenny (1975)
34. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927)
33. Asako I & II (2018)
32. Blue Velvet (1986)
31. Frances Ha (2011)
30. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
29. Midnight Run (1988)
28. Tombstone (1993)
27. The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
26. Crimson Peak (2015)
25. Memories of Murder (2003)
24. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
23. Oslo, August 31st (2011)
22. Stand by Me (1986)
21. Jules and Jim (1962)
20. In the Cut (2003)
19. Punch-Drunk Love (2002)
18. Playtime (1967)
17. Right Now, Wrong Then (2015)
16. In the Mood for Love (2000)
15. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
14. Winnie the Pooh (2011)
13. Death Becomes Her (1992)
12. Written on the Wind (1956)
11. Bright Star (2009)
10. The Insider (1999)
9. The Piano (1993)
8. The Birdcage (1996)
7. The Big Heat (1953)
6. Nightmare Alley (1947)
5. Wake in Fright (1971)
4. Boogie Nights (1997)
3. The 400 Blows (1959)
2. All that Heaven Allows (1955)
1. The Young Girls of Rochefort (1967)
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore
Oh my god, take this franchise out back and shoot it in the head. [Redacted author] has completely lost touch with what made people fall in love with “the wizarding world.” The fun of magic — knowing the names of the spells, their limits and effects, and the silly little incidental bits of the world: the moving staircases, magic prank items, sentient vehicles and furniture — is entirely absent. It’s all flashing lights; poorly lit rooms; bad CGI, and characters we couldn’t care less about pulling and vanishing stuff in-and-out of thin air when the script calls for it. Apparently this film was so bad Warner Bros decided to kill the whole franchise? Good.
Hotel Transylvania: Transformania
A shadow of former glory.
After Blue (Dirty Paradise)
Between this and season four of Stranger Things, I fully had to go to ground as a Kate Bush fan. She doesn’t deserve this treatment — god, it’s brutal out here.
Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers
Vile and lifeless. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? for people who dislike joy.
Fire of Love
I had a ticket to go see this — arguably the most swooning and indisputably the most visually sumptuous film of 2022 — in IMAX during MIFF but I ended up trading it for a different film so I could hang out with friends who were visiting that weekend. This is a decision that I do not regret at all. No, sir. Not one bit.
Moonage Daydream
Convinced me that David Bowie is the greatest musician to ever live. Introduced me to ‘Sun Machine,’ an all-time great song.
The Velvet Queen
Pretty.
Eternal Spring
Unsquarable politics.
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
Reading IMDB Marvel-bro reviews about why this is “bad” made me feel insane. I understand that I do not go to the cinema for the same reasons as those people — but people seemed angry that this had… interesting directing… actual narrative stakes… and… a sense of energy and fun…?
Thor: Love & Thunder
Charmless, ugly, incompetent, cynical, mean-spirited, hollow, artless, and all-round-not-great. But my friend Eddie was in it as extra and got paid so good for him.
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
Would be cool if Angela Bassett got a best supporting actress nomination for this.
Pinocchio
Pinocchio: A True Story
Ah, yes. Gay Pinocchio of viral meme fame. “Faaatheeer, when can I be on my ooowwwwn” etc. Overall: a nightmare. Visually, narratively, sonically. Not good. Not even enjoyable as a joke, really. But! At least it’s a true story.
Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio
Exactly what you’d expect from Del Toro’s take on Pinocchio. From the biblically accurate angels to the song about doing big steaming shits on Mussolini.
House of Gucci
The Tragedy of Macbeth
Kathryn Hunter.
Nightmare Alley
I know that Cate Blanchette is effectively sleepwalking here, but damn if she isn’t incredible.
C’mon C’mon
Good kid acting.
Kimi
The Zoe Kravtiz show.
The Lost City
Daniel Radcliffe is such a sneaky little ratbag in this one.
The Bubble
I don’t remember this movie.
Bubble
I don’t remember this movie either.
The Batman
Long, boring, and not halfway as horny as people said it was. Bad politics, too.
Don’t Worry Darling
Harry Styles’ performance is fine, actually. It’s just forced to endure more scrutiny then it can stand up to because the movie is unbelievably shallow.
To Chiara
Cha Cha Real Smooth
Loved Cooper Raiff’s Shithouse. This — not so much. His whole “casting myself as the nice guy who fixes broken women” thing is getting very weird very quickly.
Men
One of those movies where a metaphor happens at you for a hundred minutes and then there are credits.
Both Sides of the Blade
Realised about ten minutes in that this was just a movie about french people cheating on each other and feeling bad about it, with little else going on underneath.
The Night of the 12th
Realised about ten minutes in that this was just a movie about French men seeing women get stalked and murdered and feeling bad about it, with little else going on underneath.
X
Both too camp and not camp enough.
Wendell & Wild
Why does every Netflix movie contain a series worth of plot? And every series contain less than a movie’s worth of plot?
Amsterdam
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
Felt like I was watching one of those made up stories from Tumblr — the kind that ends with “and then everyone clapped.” I don’t know. The meme aspect of Nicholas Cage’s personality has always been the least interesting to me, and this is all about the meme.
Death on the Nile
Perfectly fine. Good, even, if you have had a glass of wine.
See How They Run
A cute buddy-cop movie. A completely incompetent mystery. Even though this doesn’t really work, and I barely liked it, I’d still watch about twelve more of these.
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
Much funnier than the first one, but the mystery is a good bit sloppier, so I think it levels out.
Roald Dahl’s Matilda The Musical
Glorious nonsense. Emma Thompson could have phoned this in but she gives it her absolute all.
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Deep Water
As an erotic thriller — neither very erotic, nor terribly thrilling. Yet I was oddly charmed. A movie about the dangers of spending too much time with that one weird couple you know. Ben Affleck farms snails in this?
Where the Crawdads Sing
Watched this to talk about it with mum. Hi mum!
The Bob’s Burgers Movie
Cute and nice. If it had actually been a musical — rather than just having, like, three random musical numbers — it might have been a flat out masterpiece. Paul Rudd plays Jericho the horse.
The Black Phone
Have thought about Ethan Hawke’s “Everything is fucked up and I need to be upstairs for a while” line at least once a week since I saw this.
Do Revenge
In a year where the Netflix original content was even worse than usual this was a bright spot. Teens films have the power to change the world.
Orphan: First Kill
Awesome Julia Stiles performance.
The Outfit
The perfect movie to watch with the family this holiday season. It’s smart, thrilling, has an actor/actress for every demographic — and has no political point-of-view or themes. Therefore, no possible arguments.
Rosaline
Morally bankrupt; emotionally profound. Kaitlyn Dever and Bradley Whitford are an all time daughter/dad pairing.
My Father’s Dragon
Cute, if inconsequential.
Better Nate Than Ever
A fully insane viewing experience. For those who have not seen (everyone…?) this movie is about a young boy (Nate) who dreams of being a big Broadway star, and so sneaks off to New York to audition for a role in a musical. He is also gay. Although, not “out” exactly. However, this being a Disney+ original, they are “not allowed” to say the word “gay” at any given point. This leads to surreal feeling moments like when Nate’s older brother angrily asks his parents why Nate can stay at his female classmate’s house when he wasn’t allowed to at Nate’s age, only for the Dad to turn more-or-less straight to camera and say with a knowing smirk, “Nate’s… different.” Or when said female best friend confesses to Nate — placing her hand on his — that the only reason she hangs out with him, and snuck off to New York with him to audition for the musical, was because she had a massive crush on him, only for Nate to politely remove her hand and tell her “I’m not… like that.” Obviously, all this is psychically damaging in it’s own right — but what’s even crazier is that in their attempt to avoid making any direct allusions to homosexuality Disney accidentally created a fairly emotionally, if not actually, honest depiction of what it’s like to have everyone know and talk around the fact that you are gay as a child (an experience that is somewhat kind in retrospect but mostly harrowing in the moment) and in so doing created a film that — against all odds — contains some kernel of emotional resonance.
Bodies Bodies Bodies
The Menu
Kind of like a series of SNL skits strung together. Some are funny, some are not, but it doesn’t really feel like a “complete” thing.
Triangle of Sadness
Technically brilliant, but creatively aimless; satire without a clear target.
Belle
That people consider this a best of the year makes me feel insane. Incomprehensible gibberish.
Persuasion
Ugh. The use of the Fleabag “lead character breaks the fourth wall and talks to the audience” thing is a catastrophic decision here. The whole “point” is that Anne Elliot is deeply lonely. How can we believe that when she’s yapping at us all the time?
The Princess
Joey King is a 21st century B-Movie star. Love you girlie!
Lightyear
The most “straight-to-streaming” a movie has ever felt.
Bullet Train
A Mad Magazine parody of itself.
The Sky is Everywhere
Inert.
Strange World
The genre, themes, and total commercial failure of this movie invites easy comparison Treasure Planet. These comparisons are inaccurate. After all, Treasure Planet is at least memorable.
Stars at Noon
Strange that most people are calling this Clair Denis’ first true misfire when it might be my favourite film of hers I’ve seen to date. (I have not seen Beau Travil). Lurid and sexy and endlessly compelling.
Lonesome
A lot of gay sex in this one!
Emily the Criminal
Comical that Barack Obama put this on his best of the year list considering what it’s about.
Of an Age
Australian films are actually so awesome and relatable and well-written and well-acted and clever when we let them be!
Joyland
Groundbreaking Pakistani queer film that did not really work for me at all. Cool to see cinema history as it happens though.
The Humans
Galaxy brain use of Amy Schumer.
Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
Maybe the first film to incorporate viral celebrity in a way that doesn’t feel hacky.
Decision to Leave
Gave this five stars the first time I saw it. Four-and-a-half the second time. Just four the third time. And, yet, despite that, it the movie I have felt the most consistent desire to rewatch. Achingly erotic, full of yearning. Vertigo for the digital age. Tang Wei gives the best performance of the year.
Are You Lonesome Tonight?
Everything detractors say annoying art films are.
One Fine Morning
Realised about ten minutes in that this was so much more than just a movie about french people cheating on each other and feeling bad about it, and having aging parents and feeling bad about it, and having kids that want to see Frozen II and feeling bad about it, like I thought it was going to be. So much going on underneath. A movie about all the ways we try to discover, and then become, our best selves but never quite succeed because we simply never have the time.
Give Me Pity!
Not your dad’s annoying art film — cool and slick and full of disco dance numbers.
Volcano Man
Waste of time and money.
Mass
Ann Dowd is a star.
Everything Everywhere All at Once
Didn’t work for me quite as a much as it worked for everyone else, but still an all cylinders-firing good time. Loved when they were rocks.
The Northman
Great loincloth picture.
A Hero
Kind of lumpy structurally. At the time I really felt it dragging. But it’s grown a lot in hindsight.
The Banshees of Inisherin
Will — rightly — win best original screenplay at the Oscars. Hopefully best actor for Colin Farrell too. And best supporting actor for Brendan Gleeson. Or Barry Keoghan.
The Worst Person in the World
Part five… iykyk…
Bones and All
Sundown
I’m moments away from doing this at all times.
The House
Has a Kafkaesque cockroach dance sequence!
Benediction
Saw this at a matinee screening on a Thursday, where it was me, and two elderly couples. When Peter Capaldi showed up the lady in one couple was like “Oo! Dr. Who!” And when it cut to a wet tennis court, the man from the other couple was like “Hm, wet tennis court.” Which, when you think about it, is exactly why you see a movie like Benediction — about a historical figure, gay suffering, war, and the limits of art as a vehicle for processing mass grief — at a matinee screening on a Thursday.
Petite Maman
Tender.
Memoria
A great film that I loved a lot… but the resonance of which was dampened somewhat by Il Buco (more on that in a moment), a which does everything this does but just a little bit better — and shorter.
Turning Red
After Yang
Dreamy, soft, and has a Mitski song in the credits. In so many ways, Sci-fi made specifically for me.
Nope
Yep!
Barbarian
This may be Zach Cregger’s debut film but, in my mind, he is already a bona fide auteur. Kinetic and creative. Was audibly gasping, screaming, and squirming in the cinema.
Top Gun: Maverick
The auteur is Tom Cruise.
The Woman King
Every year there’s one movie where I’m like “Fuck, I gotta get this into my top 10” even though I know it’s not *quite* at that level, and I spend the next few months trying to negotiate keeping it there with myself, only to eventually move it to, like, rank fifteen or something.
Mrs Harris Goes to Paris
If I rated and ranked films purely on the basis of what I enjoyed the most, this would be a slam dunk number one no question. The warmest, kindest film this side of Paddington 2. Transcendent; openly wept during the finale. In a just world this would be the highest grossing movie of all time (maybe even adjusted for inflation!) and Lesley Mannville would win best actress.
Avatar: The Way of Water
Awesome and stupid in the best possible ways. A reminder that blockbusters can 1) be dorky and earnest, without a lick of MCU-style snark in sight and 2) look really good. And that’s not even getting into everything with the alien whales, my best friends the alien whales.
RRR
Rad. Best watched with a group of friends, or in a crowded cinema, or with a group of friends in a crowded cinema. The kind of film you cheer to — when they do the sick dance, or they punch a tiger, or they kill the British Indian governor and blood splatters over “The sun never sets on the British Empire” crown symbol.
Catherine Called Birdy
Best children’s movie in a hot minute because it both understands the plight of being a child — you want to explore your identity, express yourself, but have no autonomy — while also remaining sympathetic to the adults because, what is growing up if not learning that you never really possess the power necessary to explore your identity and express yourself in all the ways you desire, and then just having to not make that other people’s problems too often?
Elvis
It’s big and it’s bold and it’s so, so loud. Baby, it’s pure Baz!
The Novelist’s Film
Mood board of a film — but what a mood board! Loved the B&W photography. Totally blown out visuals at first, but as the characters slowly find their creative stride, the backgrounds come into focus, and then detail.
Il Buco
One shot I haven’t stopped thinking about: the cave divers light their way by settling bits of paper on fire and dropping them down, and at one point they use magazine clippings, and you get this shot of JFK’s burning face floating in a pool of water. How the images of the past come to haunt us, flickering shadows on the cave wall.
This Much I Know to Be True
Last year, everyone watched Bo Burnham: Inside and was like “this is what it was like for me during lockdown.” Call this my Bo Burnham: Inside, I guess. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen the performance of ‘Balcony Man’ at the end of this. Trust Nick Cave to get to the heart of the absence we all experienced, while also finding some hope — some possibility of reinvention — amongst it all.
Three Thousand Years of Longing
Speaks to something perhaps slightly askew in me that this — a film someone who can only fall in love through stories, by becoming a story themself — is, to me, peak romance. Swooning, even. It is what it is, I suppose.
The Souvenir Part II
Nothing I can really say at this point that hasn’t been better expressed by someone else. Read this essay. Watch this review. Read this interview with director Joanna Hogg. The most potent final shot in a film this year — maybe this decade.
Armageddon Time
Total anti-nostalgia, largely melancholy, yet not without it’s own small kindnesses. Cements James Gray as one of my dudes. Forever and always, James.
Until next year, that’s all folks!
